40 Days: + Jay Russell B. Arjona +

Dec 25 to Feb 4, 2008

Suddenly I began to count... Realized, 40 days... It has been 40 days since his demise from my life. I remember looking at the calendar months back with the same thought, it has been 40 days since we were together. It has been 40 days of agonizing pain. A day more and I have surpassed the 40 days of Christ's passion. I have weathered the emotions. And now, looking back at those more than 40 days is alleviating.

You guys know who you are. Thank you for absorbing all the anguish that I had. I am so grateful for the support and the long talks that we had. For listening to the sunny moments of this fairytale romance up to its stormy end. Relationships has taught me to endure, made me rich in flavor and be robust. We love and yet again we love though we know it might hurt. As mortals, pain is part of life. We sacrifice because we wanted to cherish a lasting relationship. Until we can no more. We never forget the ones we love. Yes, I still love him and I always will.

I would like to appreciate ALL those who have played an active role in my life since I decided to end it. It has been a journey of life and so we MUST go on.

Breakup scene

It's a familiar story -- the two of you meet, become inseparable and fall in love...but then the tables turn and one of you wants out.

This person is now out of your life. Period. DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT, call your ex. It's like Chutes and Ladders. One call and you're back at the bottom again. We're all weak-willed, particularly when it comes to people who've broken our hearts. You need to get serious about this. Missing your ex is one thing. Contacting your ex is a no-no. In fact, reconnecting with your ex is the absolute worst thing you can do right now.

Life is short. Make it good for you. Is there something you've always wanted to try but haven't?

Get back in the saddle. Avoid super-quick rebounds, but don't make excuses for not getting out there and meeting new people. Not every coffee date needs to be "the one."

After a breakup, it's all too easy to second-guess yourself and your choices. Did I do the right thing? Should I have given him/her another chance? Maybe there was more I could do to make it work... The truth is, you can make yourself crazy second-guessing your decision. But what's done is done. You had your reasons, made your decision, and now it's time to accept and move on.

You may not know it right now, but in ending your relationship with the wrong person, you're paving the way to meet the right one. Chances are good that you won't meet Mr. or Ms. Right overnight, but that doesn't mean the breakup was a bad decision. By walking away from that wrong relationship, you're headed towards a life that's more honest and authentic for you. What better way to eventually attract your perfect partner than by living and loving your own life?

Forget About Being Friends. Anything that has the word "friend" in it, forget about. "Friends with benefits," "Just friends" -- just say "No." It's hard to move on when you are still keeping one foot in the past. It's time to rely on your other friends for support and get out there and make new friends. You won't be as quick to accept an invite to a party or call an old high school friend if you are busy with your ex.

When a relationship is over, it's easier to think of the good times as opposed to the bad times. The annoying habits and bad character traits seem to recede into the background. All you can think about is the great chemistry and the fun Saturday nights you had going out to your fave Italian restaurant together.
What you're doing is idealizing the relationship now that it's gone. You're turning it into some blockbuster movie romance when at best it was a B movie with mixed reviews. Start looking at it with more objectivity. Remind yourself of the fights you had and the frustration you felt.

When you are hurting after a breakup, it's easy to tell yourself, "I'll never meet anyone this fabulous again" or "I'll never find anyone." But the reality is, you WILL meet someone and, eventually, you will wind up in a better relationship. If this one was healthy and meant to be, you wouldn't be broken up. If you maintain hope and don't give into the hurt, you can pursue and find what you are looking for.